I had a long critical think on whether or not to continue this blog. I started it partly as a new adventure, but mostly because I wanted to remind myself of all the beautiful little things in live that make it worth living. There are so many magical moments we overlook, never notice, or maybe see and then promptly forget. I want to be a part of the beauty and magic, touch the whimsical, dance with the ephemeral, be one with the greater universe.
It is difficult keeping up with a daily blog, living life tends to get in the way of sitting down and writing. Often, on various adventures for work and play, I am nowhere near a lap-top or reliable internet.
Three years ago, when I was chronically depressed, I started a small diary of magic moments. I needed to keep track of something small each day as a reason to continue to the next day; I eventually gave up keeping the diary. I looked through that book a while back and saw several weeks in a row where I had written “nothing special happened today”. I then remembered how I would go to sleep at night telling myself that tomorrow would be better, it had to be better because today was the worst day of my life. The next day would then become the worst day of my life. I know it sounds melodramatic, but it is a vicious cycle, and it is hard to break free of it. You have to go a little crazy, change your behavior and attitude. Antidepressants and therapy were essential.
I went off the antidepressant in March, with the understanding that I might have to start it again when the sunlight dramatically decreases in the winter. However, so far, so good. We are past the Solstice, so the days are getting longer, I am more active outside this winter than in years past (even with the polar vortex), I am practicing yoga and meditation on a regular basis, and feel good most of the time.
Yes, September and October were rough, but I am healthy, strong, courageous, and grateful. Its okay to have a few blue days once and a while, and sometimes depression is a normal response to the crap life can throw at you. You feel it, accept it, you let it go, and move on. You don’t wallow in it, perpetuate it, or let it define who you are.
I guess this is what these little magic moments are for me, my definition of the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. So I will keep this blog going. It may not continue as a daily event; the last couple of months it has been more like an every other week event, however I still believe in the magic of the world around us. Touch the whimsical, dance with the ephemeral, play with the spirit of nature, surround yourself with magic, and be one with all creation.